Sort by. Deep-rooted feelings of betrayal and heartbreak can take time to emerge. Initial interactions with your ex can be tense, but, with luck, this will soon give way to cordial politeness. I'd appreciate any advice that anyone has on this! Said she loved me then went back to ex. We're both in our 30's - he ended the relationship initially because he wasn't looking for a serious relationship and I was. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Meeting at the Bar and Going Home Together Means the Same Thing It Does in the Movies. Hi there. That would obviously provide a few topics to discuss... need more info. Key elements of this email to keep in mind: context, a specific ask, recognition of their time/gratefulness, limited time commitment, convenience, signaling you’ll provide value. By the way… If possible, pull back from the hug and lean in for a kiss. But attempting to forge a friendship before you’re ready can do more harm than good. Seeing your ex for the first time after breaking up feels like getting punched in the stomach. Go for coffee and walk, and see what happens. I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. The next day I moved away. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. Your ex’s life or new relationship may seem flawless, but you don’t know what’s really going on. All of a sudden, you go from ex’s to lovers again and it’s then a lot easier to transition to sex and then back into a … Once you've let your guards down, however, you may discover that one or both of you still harbors emotional wounds. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! She was on a ‘break’ from her shitty boyfriend (26/m)that made her unhappy. Cookies help us deliver our Services. The wind gets knocked out of you. You’re excited, but also hesitant. It is because I hear, “What do I do if my ex has a next” that I make this specific eBook: “70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex” You’ll learn that radio silence isn’t the … New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The best way to arrange this is to make sure you have a very good, legitimate-sounding reason to want to see your ex. Generation-Y: We are the Millennials, the Hook-Up Generation and, most recently, The Coffee Date Generation. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. For example: When chatting to her on the phone and after getting her to smile and laugh for a bit, you can say, “Hey, we should catch up for a coffee sometime this to say hi.Of course, it’s not about us getting back together or anything like that. What should you talk about? I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. How to Ask to For a Coffee Meeting. She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. I(34/m) hooked up with a girl (28/f)I work with last summer before moving away. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. In order to have more and more contact with you, he has to show that he is sincere. It happened. So you notice that an old acquaintance you have not been in touch with for years has your dream job. Make sure your ex and you aren't still hurting. What should you avoid? You can either use that phone conversation to spark some feelings of attraction and desire in her, or you can leave her feeling like she had a talk with a friend, a brother or an ex that she no longer has any romantic feelings for. Why are you meeting her? She asked me if I wanted to catch up over coffee and I said yes. Press J to jump to the feed. Here’s the Reddit thread in full: My wife of 5 years had an affair with a co-worker last year. I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you. Ageism is a real problem in meeting people and I confess I’m as irrationally age prejudiced as the next guy. However, there are certain approaches that will spark a woman’s feelings and make her feel happy to be meeting up with her ex, and some that will cause her to think, “Is this guy for real? That said, meeting for coffee at a hotel bar has potential for an interesting outcome. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. How about DON'T meet them? Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. I’m sure the baby is mine, because I discovered all of their chat logs and pieced together a timeline. And remaining pals may seem like the mature, evolved thing to do. 6 Reasons Why Meeting Up For Coffee Is A Poor Excuse For A Date. Like the title says, I have been with my gf for 10 months. What should you talk about? After a breakup, you may be tempted to try to be friends with your ex.You still care about this person, after all. It's a nice thought: having coffee with your ex lover. Please keep in mind that the OP of this thread has chosen to mark this post with the [Serious] replies only tag, therefore any replies that are jokes, puns, off-topic, or are otherwise non-contributory will be removed. When your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck you should do. Understandably, you want to reach out, but before you press that “Send” button, do your research. If your ex was a slacker, don't throw the new guy's fancy VP job in his face. It seems weird to me to be spending time with him like this, she works in the same place as him, although in a slightly different department. While it might not matter so much (you’ve done it before, no surprises there), you don’t want it to be “the goal” of why he met you. The going too fast to no good is if this is your first face to face meeting and you end up heavy making-out or even having sex. I'll be meeting up with an ex this weekend for coffee. He took your heart, threw it to the ground, stomped on it, and then took a sledgehammer to crush the remaining pieces to dust. We just talked about what we have both been up to, laughed at some old time stories and generally had a great time. But you’ll want to have a quick coffee or hangout with your ex, because texting can only get you so far… to “seal the deal”, it’s typically necessary to meet your ex once or twice in person. They aren't really good friends any more, I'd say that they were more cordial. After your name and zip code the next registration question is always your age (date of birth) and then they plaster your age right below your photo. Question: I ran into my ex and she’s even more beautiful than when we were dating.We had a mutual breakup so there were no bad feelings between us. save hide report. He's receptive to this meetup, but I'm not sure how interested he is in developing or continuing a friendship after this. I'm curious about how I should go about this. Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. We also have a 2-year-old son. This month marks two years since my ex and I have broken up, and it has taken me the entirety of those two years to realize I still love him. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. We have been on LC for this whole time, have been together 3 or 4 times, always very amicable, but never touched the subject of our relationship. That said, “communication” doesn’t mean that all topics are fair game when you’re talking to your ex … 8 comments. The person whose ex you are meeting, or whom you're currently seeing when you meet the ex, will not, I repeat not, understand the importance of the sartorial decision. It can be a bit jarring for someone else to receive an email out of the blue, so the more personalized yo… Social media and dating sites won’t do you much good if you’re over 30. This thread is archived. Definitely do NOT do that. 100% Upvoted. Give her ultimatum over this, This is cheating. share. She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. In New York in the 1970s, public parks where places where you could not only find a hot guy but bang him in the bushes too. In this way, remaining friends — or friendly — with an ex can serve as a kind of time capsule. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. It's going to sound weird, but dude! She agreed on that, and we arranged the meeting. Today i sent her a text, to ask her to meet me for coffee this week. Then, if you suggest meeting up again soon, she will be open to the idea of seeing you again. If you see others posting comments that violate this tag, please report them to the mods! What should one expect? Your ex boyfriend reached out to you and he wants to meet up. If you can show your ex that you’re able to keep your cool and that you’re more attentive, you’re completing the first step to meeting their expectations, and you’ll be sending a strong message. Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. —Elyse, 25 Persuading an ex to meet up with you for coffee isn’t as difficult as some guys might think. 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